Trust...

Trust is something that I haven't found difficult in my spiritual journey. I accepted the Lord and took Him at His word and I trusted that truth. I have had challanges in my life though, some tough struggles, very difficult experiences and times when I wondered how long I would wander in the wilderness. The 'dark night of the soul' has been a place where I knew God was present, even though the inside of me was registrating on a shut down mode. If I ever felt a distance between the Lord and I, it was because I was primarily in a place of believing the negatives about myself rather than accepting the free gift to me of grace in Christ Jesus. I am always on the 'solid rock of Christ' place, even if I feel like I am up to my neck in quicksand.

And then....there is gut wrenching fear! Very few times in my life have I ever been aware of 'not being able to breathe, I am so scared', and I am learning a lot about myself in this place. Fear is ugly...Webster tells me that it is "an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by the expectation or awareness of danger, anxious concern. The only time I have experienced this before was when my children were young and we drove through a tornado on a road trip. I was afraid believe me! But I remember little voices in the back seat of the car praying that Jesus would protect us and hold us all tight in His arms. And yes, that is exactly what He did. It was all over quickly, the tornado went in the other direction and we were safe. Beyond safe......giddy and silly with the relief and realization that we were safe, singing and happy as we went on our way. I recall that my 'expectation' at that time was that God did have His hand on us and we were safe and held close to the heart of God..........and now.......... I heard again that same voice, however now grown up, telling me to read Philippians and to trust with all my heart the care and protection of God ....now, today in these circumstances I find myself in. Twenty years difference in my childs voice, but the prayer and love were the same. "Trust Jesus Mommy. Just trust......"

Perhaps the real issue for me here is that I need to change my expectation.......expecting fear and trouble, maybe danger.......or expecting to stand firm in the Lord...rejoicing, anxioius for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let my requests be known to God.....and the peace of God will keep my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. "Trust Jesus Mommy" are good words from your child no matter how old they are.....Thank you son.